Friday, August 10, 2007

Shorah b'shehm

Hello, this is my first blog entry. I apparently complain too much about my life and the things going on. *sigh* I wish I could just open up and explain myself, share myself, without fear of what others think about it. Anyway, I haven't been blogging before, just sending messages on Forums.

My real name is Aaron P. Ingebrigtsen, I live in Mesa, Arizona, which is part of the Phoenix Metro Area. There, you can hunt me down and say Hi sometime if your that crazy about me. :) I am 30 years old, a virgin, living with my Dad. I want to try to stay positive. :)

I have a Job, YAY, which is always a good thing, because it brings in money. If the money vanishes, well, then the job no longer matters to me. Not that my only goal in life is to make money, far from it, I wish money weren't an issue, but it is, I'm constantly worried about whether I can afford my bills. I have debts too. I suppose that makes me like most people.

I was educated at High Tech Institute of Phoenix where I was the TOP student in my class, earning Honors for Perfect Attendance and Perfect 4.0 Grades in the Computer Networking and Information Technology course. That was a huge deal to me, being able to Graduate with my class, wear a cap and gown, and be Honored too. I had never experienced any of that before. It was the happiest time of my life! So, I'm a computer and networking geek, but there are a lot of things I don't know and don't understand. I am NOT a Programmer, don't even try asking me to code something in Java or C#, I'll just slap you silly with a large wet trout.

I love creating things, writing is enjoyable, although I'm not really trained to be a writer. I flunked English 101. I love math, or at least I used to, but I am regaining my love of math. I flunked Algebra 101 too. I have a long way to go before I reach genius level. Hahaha.

Although I have above average IQ, I am very very ignorant of real world things, and struggle to understand concepts that others find easy. I have ADD, which means two things, one I am Always distracted, by default, and two I am able to multitask pretty well. I can't do 15 things at once, and the more things I try to juggle the less attention each process gets in my brain, but multitasking is easier for me than concentrating on just one thing. That's nearly impossible. I have learned that setting up my environment in a particular way really helps me to concentrate on the ONE thing I'm supposed to be doing, which means I have small side things going so I can choose to devote tiny bits of attention to those, while devoting most of my attention to that ONE thing. If I don't do that, my brain goes into black out mode.

When I go into black out mode that means a form of sensory deprivation, my brain turns off outside information from my senses and starts going nuts. Some people call it daydreaming, but it's more than wishful thinking or whatever, it's something I have little control over. It takes something like a loud noise to bring me out of it. The best I can do is prepare myself somehow to prevent the blackouts. Once they happen, I have no way to force myself back to full awareness. That's the way it is for me. Believe it, or not.

My brain has an automatic on/off switch on my attention span. If the information coming in from my senses is Interesting Enough, it gets my attention until something More Interesting presents itself. As soon as the information from my senses drops below a certain Interest level, my attention is entirely turned OFF, black out mode. I need to keep my senses stimulated, whether with music, or blinking lights, or SOMETHING, to keep my brain from just shutting down all outside information processing.

I have extremely vivid dreams, full surround sound, 3D color, full sensory information. Pinching myself does actually hurt in my dreams, it's the truth. My dreams seem as real to me, when I'm dreaming, as this world seems when I'm awake. It's only when I wake up that the dream starts to seem less real. Which means I can have really awesome dreams, or really terrifying nightmares. Maybe that's the way it is for most people.

I am obsessed with all things having to do with Cyan Worlds, and the games and books and everything else having to do with MYST that they created. I love The D'ni Numbering System, for instance, totally awesome.

Well, guess that's the end of my first message, Shorah b'shehm, which means Peace to you. :)

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