Friday, December 12, 2008

The Invalid Time

What I am about to tell you here in this post is something I was told by my boss, not just some guy somewhere, and I must obey.  But it has been driving me insane for weeks now.  It's only a tiny difference of one minute one way, or the other, no big deal, right?  I guess I'm like Detective Monk on the USA Network, I'm obsessed.

Here it is, and forgive me if I have already talked about this, but I just don't remember doing so.  I work as a Security Guard, as you may already know, and our reports must always be written using Military, aka 24-hour, time, ie anything after 12pm is 12 plus whatever it is, so 1pm is 12 plus 1, 1300.  The 24 hour clock makes more logical sense than the 12 hour clock most people use, because it always starts at 0.  There is a reason someone invented the concept of 0, and it revolutionized the world.  Look at any numbering system used by any culture that has no concept at all of the number 0, are they still around, much less advanced in their social development or technology?  I say, NO.  If you disagree, well, find a door and use it.  Ok, back on track here, when you are writing 24 hour time, you always use 4 digits to indicate the time, as above, with no : in between the minutes and hours, and when you Say the time you say it as if all the numbers indicated hours, like thirteen hundred hours, or fourteen thirty hours.  I think that was intended to confuse people who had no idea what was really going on.  In any case, 24 hour time is always used in all official documents the likes of which have legal weight.  They must therefore be extremely accurate, precise, and detailed.

Now the thing that drives me mad, mad I say!  If I write down a time stamp of either 0000 or 2400, the judge will state that this is an invalid, invalid mind you, time and that therefore the entire document is inadmissible in court.  So I have to write down a time of either 2359, or 0001.  Oh, I can't write 2401, since in fact a 24 hour clock does not use 24 as the begining of the new time cycle, it's actually always 0.  Now, you may think I'm wrong, and you would be stupid if you did, but if the time 0001 is valid then so is 0000.  

There is no logical reason whatsoever to invalidate 0000 as the time given for any particular event being reported.  If 0000 is an invalid time, then the entire 24 hour time system in use by every military, or civilian police organization in this entire country is also invalid.  Prove me wrong, why don't you?  And if something happens at exactly midnight, and I report that it happened either 1 minute before, or after, that time, I have, in effect, lied on an official report, which when it comes to doing something in court is either tampering with evidence, abstruction of justice, or some other illegal thing, I dunno.  The point is it's wrong to do it, even if it is only one tiny minute one way or the other.  And I will not participate in any such thing, I guess I'm too honest for my own good, but I believe in honesty and integrity above all else.

I will probably be found to be in contempt of court, but, I think I've got a bad enough temper, and that I'm insane enough, to actually call any judge who invalidates 0000, an abject moron not fit to serve in our justice system.  I would elaborate in great detail as to exactly how stupid that judge is, and why it is a miracle that the judge is actually still alive, seeing as how brain function must have ceased some time ago.  Then I would indicate my willingness to commit an act of violence at exactly midnight so that I could get away with it, since any report or evidence indicating the event occuring at exactly midnight would be invalid and therefore inadmisible in court.  And then I would laugh histerically as they drag me off to a cell, where I would then bang my head against anything solid enough to hurt.  Also, being in prison would likely cause my fragil mind to break in half, spewing all manner of nonsense imaginable, and there would be no way of predicting my behavior from that point on.

You think I'm kidding don't you?  You don't think I'm that crazy, or stupid, to actaully defy a judge in his or her court room, don't you?  Well, maybe you are right, maybe I would miraculously stop myself, and actually manage to stay out of trouble.  But I doubt it.

That's my rant for now, stay tuned for more insane ramblings, because this is Krepta's Life, brought to you by unknown chemical processes best left in the dark!

No comments:

Post a Comment