Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Birthday/Quitting Day

Ok, here is the story, just so you know. I quit my job, on my Birthday, because my Boss stabbed me in the back. He knew better, and screwed me anyway. First, background story:

I was a Security Officer working for Thomas Protective Services, I have had very bad knees and other disabilities for a very long time, meaning I am restricted from doing the amount of walking, running, jumping and other physical activities that most Security Officers do. A few weeks ago I quit TPS because they screwed me, they had me work a 14 hour shift, despite the promise I was given that I wouldn't have to work a 14 hour shift. Well, I guess I didn't work the entire 14 hours, only 13.75 hours. But pretty damn close enough, damnit! I then went over to Sky Security, brought over by my boss who had quit TPS just a day before. My new employment with Sky wasn't much better than with TPS, but, there were promises of a wonderful new future with Sky, so, I went with it.

So, about 4 weeks ago or so I started working at Optima CamelView Village, patrolling around on a golf cart making sure all levels of the underground Garage are secured and safe for everybody, and doing parking enforcement. A few weeks ago I got the Flu, and was laid out for a week, with a Doctor's note requiring me to stay off duty for a week. I finally got over it, but my Boss required me to get a note from the Doctor specifically stating "no restrictions" before putting me back on the schedule. But, he didn't put me back on the schedule when he got the note, instead he kept me off the schedule till the next week, which started this Monday. So, I was out of work for 2 frakin weeks! He scheduled me for a 12 hour shift on Tuesday, October 27th, My Birthday, from 6pm to 6am, followed by a mandatory meeting at 8am that could last several hours, because he likes to yell at us and ramble on about stuff. When I got to work Tuesday, I found out that the golf cart I had always used to do patrols was not charged because the charger was screwed up, and that my boss had been pissed off and told everyone that the cart was off limits from now on.

I texted my boss asking what I should do since I can't use the cart, and he texted me back "Foot patrol, your doctor gave no restrictions". Well that pissed me off! He knows damn well that note had nothing at all to do with my disabilities and health issues and that it's context was about the Flu ONLY. And he knows damn well I got that note because he specifically required it in order to put me back on the schedule! I was so fraking mad, I quit that very fraking minute. I was on duty not much more than a half hour that night. I immediately called Dad to turn around and pick me up, so I could get home. You see, I had already asked Dad if he would give me a ride to and from work, knowing that by the time that fraking 8am meeting was over I'd be far too tired to drive safely all the way home. I turned in my stuff, and got the hell out of there. I was way too fraking mad, I was livid, and I'm still ticked off.

This is the kind of thing SHARP school pulled on me, years and years ago, when they tricked me into trying to jump rope, despite the fact that I was still recovering after having broken both of my legs! Yes, BOTH of my legs were broken, and they were screwing around trying to get me, a kid, to do PE stuff! Mother F*%(#!!! So because I jumped, ONCE, despite the fact that I collapsed in pain instantly, they used that as an excuse to claim that my Doctor's note waiving PE was invalidated, and punished me for refusing to run, jog, jump, or whatever other bullsh&^# they were trying to make me do. My punishment included not being allowed to eat lunch, and having to spend the entire lunch period outside in the hot sun on the hot cement with a jump rope I refused to use.

No body screws me like that, nobody!! And I don't frakin care how angry it makes you that I still remember the horribly hurtful things people have done to me! Those are some of my most clear memories! I'll never forget the horrors I've been through, not one kneecap dislocation, not one fraking crash, not one abuse I've ever had!

Damnit!

Anyway, now I'm looking for a job, and hoping against all logic that I'll get a job at a place that Is NOT insane and abusive.

Frak me...

Anyway, I also started a new diet, called HCG, on my Birthday, and so far I've lost 8 pounds, woot!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Octomatics

I just heard someone say, last night on Coast to Coast AM, something about a New Numbering System, and you know I'm absolutely obsessed over numbers, so I googled to find it. And, I'm very happy to have found Octomatics, although I do think it needs a better name, Octomatic makes it sound like a mechanical squid or something. How about Octonary? It's basically a combination of Octal and Binary, it uses a form of Binary notation for each of it's 7 numeral characters, but it is an Octal positional numbering system. I love it, and I hope it catches on! Dang, I'm so excited and happy, it's like someone gave me a birthday present today! :) I wonder if there are any more New Numbering Systems. My favorite is still D'ni, btw.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Gambling and nonsense

I have been told not to play with face cards because, of all things, they are used in gambling games, I have found out that people decided to stop using dice to play games and instead used a spinner for much the same reason, because of a connection to gambling. People don't understand the world the way I do, I guess. I see the objects in the world around me as nothing more than objects, no matter what they may have been used for, I see numerous possible uses for them, and don't care about what connotations may be attached to them. When it comes to gambling, I think it can be an extremely damaging addiction, and people should be as careful about it as they are about any addictive substance. It can totally destroy your life. That being said, I think it is ridiculous to proclaim those various items that have been used in gambling games as being evil, no matter what other uses they may have.

For instance, I have played Solitaire a lot, I have greatly enjoyed it since I was young, and I still enjoy it to this day, but, it is not a dangerous addiction unless you play it at a Casino, where you spend money and try to win back more than you spent. In that case, Solitaire can easily leave you penniless, destitute! I don't play Casino gambling games in real casinos, or even online betting websites, I only play them in games I can download and play against a computer, or play for free online with other players. I never, I repeat, I never spend money gambling on things like that.

I have a religious reason for not gambling, I've been taught that it's bad, and I know why it can be very bad, you can wind up losing everything you own, and still want to play more! You can wind up getting into nasty trouble with criminals, who like to fix gambling games for their benefit by the way.

The thing about gambling is, you are taking a financial risk, and that means that anything can become a gambling game. Anything at all can be gambled on, from horse racing to turtle racing, from Day Trading on the stock markets, to those crazy derivatives that we have discovered are destroying our economy. Any time you risk your own money for the hope that you will get back more money than you put in, without any actual effort on your part, that is a Gamble. The higher the risk, the higher the possible rewards, and that is what makes it so addictive, you get a rush when you get something out of it, and you get hooked on the thrill. Those gambling games in the Casinos would not have nearly as many players if there was no financial risk or possible reward involved. If you could play any game in the Casino, for free, as often as you want, and get absolutely no money from any of them, the addictive property would be gone. The games themselves are not all that interesting, IMHO. It's the possibility of winning a LOT of money that draws the huge crowds. And the Casino always wins in the end, they are the ones that always get the biggest jackpot of all.

The state lotteries people can participate in are not all that different, you are spending money in the hopes of getting something more in return. You can easily get swallowed up by the thrill and waste all of your money on lottery tickets. It is therefore every bit as dangerous as any Casino, in that it is highly addictive.

I am a rebellious type, when someone tells me not to play with dice or face cards because of the gambling connotation, I'm more likely to buy up all the gambling paraphernalia I can afford and play with them all I want just to flaunt my utter disdain for such stupidity. Yes, I called it stupidity to refuse to play with face cards, or dice! You think those things have magical powers to addict your brain, like they are laced with crack?! NO! The only power any object has in this world is the power YOU give it. If you choose to not gamble, you have nothing to worry about. You can play any "gambling" game ever invented without risking any of your money, not hoping for any big rewards, and not falling into a dangerous addiction that can utterly destroy your life. And, as I said above, ANY thing can be gambled on, any kind of game you can think of, any activity, from the weather, to bird watching, can all become the subject of a gambling scheme.

By the way, anything can become a drinking game too, just in case you didn't realize that. Not that I've ever played any drinking games, I don't drink. But if I did, I would drink, like, rootbeer or something. Seriously.

Ok, back to gambling, you can play freakin Candy Land and turn it into a gambling game, you can bet on who lands where first, or who get's to do what first, or whatever. It doesn't matter. Gambling has very little to do with the game itself, it's about the Odds, trying to beat the Odds and win big. That's all that matters. As long as it appears to be random enough, with some Chance that even the favorite to win might lose, then you have something people can bet on. The biggest danger is, of course, the criminal element, those sleezy, violent, nasty people who try to rig things for their own benefit, while trying to make it Seem like everything is actually random. Yah, right.

My point is, don't gamble, unless you go into it with every intention of losing, as the price you gladly pay for the fun you are having. Otherwise, you could easily fall into a dangerous addictive trap that could utterly destroy you. This would be extra bad if it hurt your family and loved ones. Don't Do It!! But, go ahead and play any kind of gambling game you want, just use, like, candy instead of money, or soemthing, I mean, really, you can play any thing you want and not risk your freakin life because of it.

There, now, if you see me playing Solitaire with my round card deck some time, don't go trying to harp on me about how I'm not supposed to be playing with face cards, because if you do I may very well throw a pie at your face. Well, not really, I'll at least tell you off.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Making my thoughts private

I have recently been warned about people, family or friends, being uncomfortable with, or thinking that I am too open with, my thoughts and opinions. Well, then, fine, no more openness. From this moment forward, NO ONE is allowed to know what I think or feel about anything unless they are either a fellow blogger, and thus already cool in my book, or a close friend or family member with whom I believe I can entrust my real thoughts and feelings without being flamed, put down, belittled, and in other words really really hurt emotionally. Thank you, that is all. I only ever wanted to just dump my thoughts somewhere, and if people choose not to ignore it and actually care about me as a person, cool, otherwise, I don't care.

I just need a place to blow off some steam, put out ideas and thoughts that are bugging me and driving me nuts. If I don't write it SOMEWHERE I'll go insane and the stress and strain of life in general is literally killing me. This is, in my opinion, a far healthier thing to do than having fights with my dad, over the stupidest little things, or having to defend myself to people who just don't understand. If, for any reason, you do not want to know my thoughts and feelings, don't read. Oh, and by the way, I will no longer be posting any, and I mean ANY of my thoughts and feelings anywhere else, not Facebook, or Twitter.

I will post my views and opinions, my beliefs and hopes, my dreams and even nightmares on here, and if you decide to attack me about it, I will block you. If you decide I don't deserve to be related to you anymore, fine, disown me. Heck, I might as well just shoot myself, I'm so sick and tired of all the pain and all the depression. And accusing me of whining about every little thing will just drive me mad, and not the just plain angry kind of mad, the I want to go kill someone kind of mad. You get me?

If you are one of the very very few people I have invited to view my blog, congratulations, that means I love you, and trust you with my most intimate feelings and thoughts. If you have no wish to view these things, tell me now, and I'll remove you from the allowed list. If you're cool with that, awesome.

Since this is not being viewed by people I don't feel are entirely trustworthy, they can go suck a hard boiled egg, AHHAA! Ok, I think I'm starting to calm down, I had better or I'll give myself a heart attack and die before I even click Publish.

I consider myself to be extremely damaged psychologically, and I have no idea what to do about it. Think about it for a minute, I've never held a job longer than a year, and when I finally did I was so ecstatic and happy I just about passed out. I've never been on a date, much less kissed a girl, and who knows why? Certainly not me. Every time I am around a girl that I feel anything for, I seem to shut down, clam up, and just treat her like I would anyone else, a person with whom I can have a relatively safe time, but nothing more. I am too confused by the world around me and the behavior of these incredibly strange creatures called humans, and I am utterly surprised to find that I am one of them. If I were to find out that I am actually some kind of alien that replaced the REAL Aaron Ingebrigtsen shortly after birth and am on a mission to study this strange race, I would be relieved and happy with my existence. As it is, I'm constantly under emotional strain and turmoil just trying to figure out how to be a human being like anyone else.

Maybe I should just accept that I'm far too unique, not really human at all, though my form would suggest that I am. I should just live my life as if absolutely everything I experience is a new and alien experience, and treat everyone as if I've never met anything like them before. I've dreamed of losing all my memories and starting over from scratch. Wow, what a gift that would be. Oh, sure, I love my family, and friends, but, forgetting all the bad things that drive me crazy, and learning nothing but new things might actually be a huge improvement on my life.

Well, anyway, I'm done ranting and raving. It's probably a huge mistake even posting this. If I've offended you... well... Fooled You, HAHAHA!!! Seriously, "He who is offended when offense was not intended is a Fool, he who is offended when offense WAS intended is a Greater Fool!".

Love you, peace.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Numerology hocus pocus

If you love numerology, stop reading right now, because I'm gonna write stuff here you are not going to like or agree with, and I don't want you yelling at me, or at least posting flaming red hot messages about it.

Ok, here goes, I am very obsessed with Numbers and Number Systems, and because of that I get very angry about Numerology, I detest it with a passion. You may be thinking, "Wha?! But you're a Numbers freak, I thought you'd Love Numerology, cause it's numbers and stuff", yeah, well, it's that "and stuff" part that bugs the heck out of me. There is some simple mathematics being used in numerology, but that is the only part of it that is in any way interesting to me, the rest of the stuff is nothing more than a belief system. I'm not saying you can't believe whatever you want, heck, you can believe that you have the ability, all by yourself, to clear the whole world of bad energy, in just one trance session, but, whatever. I'm not gonna argue with your beliefs, whatever they may be, I'm just saying, NUMEROLOGY IS NOT THE SCIENCE OF NUMBERS!! If anything it is a belief system in mystical powers and symbolism attached to numerals in just ONE numbering system, the decimal, Arabic, base 10, numbering system so many people use for every day life.

And now for why I refuse to believe even the smallest thing in Numerology, whatever symbolism or mystical magical property a numeral is thought to have in the Decimal numbering system could not possibly apply in any other numbering system, and in my mind this invalidates the whole thing, period.

Ok, for instance, this guy on the radio was going on about some numerological thing about the number 111, and how it's divisible by 37. And he was going on about how 222, 333, 444, etc. are all divisible by 37. I'm like, duh, and, so what? He was going on about how there are no accidents or coincidences in the universe, everything has a meaning, bla bla bla. So, whatever, he, and anyone else, can attach whatever mystical magical meaning they want to this simple mathematical process that, as far as I'm concerned, has absolutely no meaning.

So what if 37x3 is 111? 37x6 is 222, 37x9 is 333, etc., every third iteration gives you an iteration of 111, so what? But this only works for Decimal, what about other numbering systems? There are others you know, how about Binary, Hexadecimal, Octal, to name just a few? That's what gets me all riled about numerology, it assumes, rather stupidly in my opinion, that Decimal is the Universal numbering system that everything in the universe vibrates to, which gives these Numerals special powers in our lives. I say, bull pucky.

Nothing anyone sais could possibly convince me of any of that crap. And the main reason is, as I said earlier, if it can only apply in one numbering system, and no others, it's absolutely meaningless drivel.

My favorite numbering system is the D'ni, base 25, numbering system, but I also like a bunch of other numbering systems and enjoy converting values between them. A numbering system is nothing more than a means of representing a real value, just symbols with specific value attached to each one. If that value being represented has some kind of magical power itself, then it doesn't matter how it's being represented, but, Numerology is the opposite belief, that the symbol is what carries the magical power, not the real value it represents. So, bla bla bla, and yackety shmackety.

Ok, I'm done ranting.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

OS/2 Warp 4 with VMware Player

Hi, this is something I'm excited about for now, I used to have OS/2 Warp a long time ago, I loved it, I thought it was way superior to the DOS 6.22 with Windows 3.1 I also had at the time, and I was mad as all heck that IBM gave up on the OS market and let Microsoft take the whole PC pie. ARRGH! But, now I get to have some fun with OS/2 Warp without making any changes to the PC that is now running windows XP. Sure, it's not relevant today, it's apps just can't do what people need to do these days, but it's nostalgia, can you really blame me?

Anyway, here is how I got OS/2 Warp 4 installed into a virtual machine using VMware Player.

I first downloaded VMware Player, then I downloaded OS/2 Warp 4, because my OS/2 Warp copy is damaged and no longer works for some reason, and I gave up on it long ago. This is the configuration file needed to get it working. I also need a .vmdk virtual disk image file, so I downloaded a package of pre-created blanks of varying sizes, picked the 2gig one, copied it to the folder I want to run OS/2 in, renamed it os2.vmdk and copied the .iso cd image file and tried to boot up. That's when I remembered that OS/2 was created before bootable CD technology was available, nothing, not even Macintosh computers knew how to boot from a CD at the time. So, I had to grab a DOS 6.22 disk image, which I extracted using winrar because I have no diskette drive and I need to load the disk image into a virtual drive. So, I went and got Virtual Floppy Disk, and loaded up the image as A: drive. Of course, since VMware Player already thinks there is a diskette drive, thanks to the configuration file above, it was easy to load up A: drive and boot DOS in the virtual machine. DOS found the CD and gave it a letter, R: for some reason, and I just had to go there and run cdinst.bat.

This program on the OS/2 CD creates installation diskettes necessary to boot OS/2 and install it. Well, the next thing to do is tell VMware Player to disconnect A: drive, then go to the VFD control panel and unload the current diskette image, and tell it to open a new RAM diskette, which allows me to put whatever I want into the virtual disk, and save it to an image file later. Then I told VMware Player to connect to A: again and told the installer batch to create the first diskette. When it was done I disconnected the A: drive again and told VFD to save the RAM disk as an image, calling it "os2 disk 1.ima". I repeated for each of the diskettes, then followed the instructions to have the "OS/2 Installation" diskette loaded and reboot. That loaded up and told me to put in disk 1, I disconnected A: and told VFD to load the disk 1 image, etc. etc. You can do all of that work, or, since I already did the work, you can just use the image files I created, yay, shortcut!

Once all of that swapping around of image files and loading is done, you have a working OS/2 Warp 4 installation in a virtual machine. Weee! :) You may need to be patient, at least on my computer it seems to take forever to get from disk to disk in the installation process, just sit and wait.

Hear ye here now

I want to say a few things about why I post messages on here, and message boards and such. It's because I am actually very quiet most of the time IRL, I don't like discussing much with people in person, especially if it's really controversial topics that get me all riled up. I get much more emotional when talking to someone in person about things I believe very strongly about, or have very strong opinions about, than I would when posting something online. At least when it's an online message, I can take a breather, try to calm down, maybe take a nap and get to posting later. But in person, there's no time out, it can be sort of like a no holds bared verbal brawel with me, and that's the kind of thing I can't seem to resist, and it's also the kind of thing that causes the most trouble.

So, if I've posted something online that I feel very strongly about, I most likely do not want to discuss it at all in person, and will do anything to avoid the subject, including walking out the front door. I'm not very social at all, I find social situations to be extremely stressful, even when everyone around me is being kind and friendly, I still find it highly uncomfortable. I'm pretty comfortable at family gatherings, I don't isolate myself usually, but I still feel a twinge of stress any time a topic I feel strongly about comes up in conversation.

Also, the more emotional I get the worse my muscle spasms get, I can't control it, and it has gotten to the point where it is causing a lot of pain. I don't know why, and I have no idea what to do about it. So, if you could please, if you meet me in person, just don't talk about stuff that will get me riled up, don't try to push my buttons, I'm not all that stable in the first place.

I may bring up a topic that is bound to get me riled up, which I sometimes do because I have a need to express my thoughts and feelings that sometimes overrides my need to shut up and be quiet. But when I do, I almost always wind up getting very upset, my heart rate goes way too high, my blood pressure too probably, and I get nasty headaches and pain all over the place.

Right now I feel pretty calm and collected, and yet, my chest hurts and my heart is trying to stop beating. So, I'm gonna try to stay real calm and not say or post things that will get me all riled up. If you think I'm complaining too much, oh well, too bad, I keep quiet all day long, when people ask me how I'm doing I say I'm fine, and don't mention anything. So, whatever I complain about on here, it's because I need to stop keeping stuff bottled up.

Ooooohhhhhhmmmmmm, Ohhhhhmmmmmmm, *cough cough* uh, Ohhhmmmmmmm....

There, now, I've uncorked, relieved some emotional pressure, and I'm ready for sleep.

Good night.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Wine

I don't drink, at all, but there have been many moments when I wish I could have washed away my pain and sorrow with waves of alchohol.  I am really sick and tired of people trying to push me to drink, with claims like the health benefits of Wine.  The fact is that any health benefits of wine come from the GRAPES, and has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the fermentation process.  You could drink grape juice, the real stuff not the fake stuff, and get the same benefits, without the probability of getting drunk.  Here is another fact for you, alchohol damages the liver, and maybe other organs too I dunno, so it is better to use it in moderation, rather than stupid things like binge drinking.  OMG, binge drinking is completely insane, you might as well go shoot yourself, that would be about as effective.

So every time I see stories about things like Resveratrol, a really great anti-oxident that could be an amazing boon for people all over the world, I get angry, because they always talk about Wine, in this case Red Wine.  Yah, they talk about how you have to drink like 1000 bottles of Red Wine a day to get the benefits from this cool stuff.  Something I'm sure some people would love to at least attempt, but the benefits of the resveratrol would be absolutley blown away by the damaging effects of all that alchohol.  Gosh, dang, that's way too much wine to be drinking every day.  

So, when someone tells you to have a glass of wine, if you want to, you can have a glass of grape juice instead, same effect, without the alchohol.  Although, I'm sure the taste is very different, I wouldn't know from experience though.  Whatever, if you like wine, drink with wisdom, don't over do it, that's crazy nuts.  If you don't drink, cool, you don't have to, no matter what anyone says.

I have no idea how long people have been fermenting plant stuffs to make alchoholic drinks of all kinds, probably since the beginning of time or something, but if you use the alchohol right you can keep people healthy and strong and able to work hard and live a great life.  If you use it wrong, you can destroy families, and society in general.  Beer may well have saved the human race from extinction at one time, but, I doubt very much that people were stumbling around drunk all day long every day, causing everything to grind to a halt.  Even in those ancient times, people understood the importance of being sober, or mostly sober, in order to have a functional society, and a happy life.

Happiness is not the bottom of a bottle, nor the barrel of a gun.

Ok, my chest hurts a lot, my heart is going frakin nuts, and I'm gonna have to go lie down.  ugh.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Medical Tyrany

Should someone be forced to be medically treated against their will, by doctors who don't allow any choice in the matter, and judges who use the force of law to give those doctors all the power they want?  There is a 13 year old kid who has a form of cancer, the doctor has said there is no known alternative treatment for this cancer, and therefore the kid must be put through chemo-therapy and radiation, maybe even surgery.  First of all, there are a LOT of alternative treatments that people have found actually work, second of all one of the biggest arguments against any particular treatment is that it hasn't passed a double blind test, which was only created to eliminate the possibility of placebo effect.  If placebo cures cancer, we don't need any frakin drugs!!  Take that!

I know there are plenty of people trying to push products for their own financial gain, and are willing to lie and cheat to get what they want.  Sure, we need to protect ourselves and our kids from people like that.  The thing is, there are plenty of respected doctors who do a lot of research into and support alternative treatments for all kinds of diseases, including various forms of cancer.  So you can't lump all of those alternatives together in the same category as mirracle snake oil crap, which is what the FDA was really created to protect us from.

I do think that a kid with a life threatening disease should be treated, and be monitored by doctors.  To force him or her to take chemo-therapy, a horrible bunch of poisons that could kill you or even cause cancer, get radiation, again horribly damaging and could cause cancer, as well as surgery, always very risky no matter what the reason, is all very very wrong.  The parents should, of course, have the right to decide what kind of treatments their kid gets, even if thier doctor doesn't agree, they should have the right to seek the advice of as many other doctors as they choose.  

But, noooooo, the government has decided to control our lives and save us from the most horrible thing in the universe, Liberty.  Or so they seem to think.  If this kid's parents, and the kid himself, do not want that horrible, cancer causeing, method of treatment for cancer, they should be able to seek out alternatives.  And there ARE alternatives that DO work.  I know it for a fact, from personal experience, and don't you dare tell me I'm lying.  I will smack you in the head with a large wet trout, prefferably dead since I'm not cruel to animals, just MORONS!

I know, I'm an idiot, and it seems to me I deserve quite a lot of smacking in the head... I do get some you know, people don't always like me, and sometimes they beat me down.  Sometimes I come to agree, eventually, that I deserved to be smacked, but most of the time I don't agree, and I get mad, and stay mad, for a long time.

Enough about me!!  This is about a kid with cancer who is being forced, no matter what he or his parents think, to have horrible treatments!  Oh, and the doctors are claiming that these treatments will cure the cancer.  HA!  Since when do they tell you your cancer is cured when it's gone into remission?!  They never tell you that!  They know that their treatments, horrible though they are, cannot possibly wipe out 100% of the cancer, and that it could come back some day.  And, yes, those nasty chemicals and horrible radiation blasts can cause cellular damage that creates other cancer cells!  Frak!  Would you take a drowning man and force him to drink a glass of water?  Would you take a man who is on fire, and hose him down with gasoline?!  OOoo, you are doing something, that's for sure, you are being proactive!  But that doesn't mean that what you are doing is the RIGHT thing to do.

Now, about my experience with cancer treatment, it's actually through my mom, she had skin cancer, and later breast cancer, one cancer she absolutely cured beyond any shadow of doubt with alternatives, the other she opted for standard treatment including chemo, and surgery.  As a result of the standard treatment she is in horrible pain all the time, has trouble walking, or even getting out of bed, has to wear a special sleeve on her arm to control swelling for the REST of her life, and has to deal with the fact that the cancer may come back some day even though it is in remission right now.  In my opinion, maybe not humble, the standard treatments have done far more harm than good, and I wish she had gone with alternatives for both cancers, rather than just one.  But, at least they didn't amputate body parts, which is something they really like doing when it comes to women.  If it's men, it's a different story, for some reason.  But that's another story for another time.

I am in a lot of pain most of the time from a lot of different things, and I have no medical coverage or help of any kind in dealing with it all.  I need relief, cures, whatever I can get, I'm desperate!  If there is a mirracle pill that cures all the stuff I'm dealing with, I'll pay for it, I'll take it, whatever it is.  But I'm paranoid, I will have to do a lot of research on it and see if I trust it or not.  Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean there aren't people out to get me!  Why are you still reading this?!  Are you a spy?  Aaaahhhh!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

PIctures

Here is a slideshow of the amazing things I see every night at work, well, not really, it's just the crap that fills my night up with something to do.  Here ya go.


Madness!

I'm very angry, and very tired, which is usually not a good combination, but I am going to write a few things here and go take a nap. Ok, I am angry because of the madness of what my job is doing to me! Let me explain in words that make no sense, ahem... Naarf, poit!

Now, for something that makes just as much sense, but in words you may understand... My boss called me today to tell me that Dispatch is getting confused, so now I have to start working an entire hour earlier than usual, and leave an hour earlier too, so they don't get their silly little brains all twisted up into pretzels. But, here's the thing, they will still get confused!! Let me explain a little bit better, on monday, tuesday, and wednesday I am supposed to do two patrols each night, that's call on duty, do some stuff, then call off duty, and then some time later do that a second time, and I'm done. Now, on the other days it's a normal 5 hour shift of calling on duty, doing stuff, and more stuff, then calling in for post check, and of course doing more stuff, then eventually calling off duty after 5 hours. They are getting confused because I'm starting my first patrol when I would normally start my regular 5 hour shift, and ending my Second patrol when I would normally end my normal 5 hour shift. So, they are going "duh!!!" and thinking that I'm doing a regular 5 hour shift on those days that I am scheduled for 2 patrols, even though I clearly state in my calls to dispatch that I'm calling on duty, and off duty, for my first, then later my second, patrol, and I'm clearly marking in my reports that it is 2 patrol hits, and I'm clearly recording in my Time Sheet that it's 2 patrol hits. So, now I'm going to be doing the exact same thing, only an hour earlier on both ends, I have no idea what I'm going to do when they Continue to be confused as a result of their mental disability.

So, because Dispatch, and maybe even the clients, are MORONS, I have to work a whole hour earlier three nights out of the week, for no other reason than to attempt to relieve their poor brains from having to think!! All they have to do is PAY ATTENTION when I call them, and READ the freakin reports and time sheets! Why is that too difficult for them to do? I dunno, maybe they are sitting around smoking pot or something.

There, now I've expressed my anger in an irrational manner on a stupid blog that nobody cares about, and I'm gonna go take a nap. I'm seriously in need of escape from reality.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Not a salesman

Please note that I do not sell anything, I am horrible at convincing people to buy something, and even terrible at convincing people to do something that costs them nothing at all. Any claims I have made of knowledge of cures for things, like acid reflux disease, (which isn't an actual disease but is a made up disease to convince people they don't have indigestion), or cancer, or whatever, are my personal opinions based on research and personal experience. I have no vested interest whatsoever in the sale of any product by any manufacturer. If I told you Oxygen is a cure for insomnia, you could just as easily hyperventilate for free as opposed to buying an oxygen tank somewhere.

If any of my claims turn out to be incorrect, correct me. If you convince me I'm wrong, which I do not guarantee, then I will change my mind. If you fail to convince me, which is admittedly more likely than not, I will at least treat you with respect while continuing to believe whatever crazy thing you are trying to correct me about.

I ask that you treat me with as much respect, even if we both know that privately we are both calling each other every nasty thing we can think of, while remaining convinced beyond all rational thought that we are each correct. Or is that just me? Whatever.

Did you really think I would stop there? Uh... well, ok, I'll stop. I'm gonna go bark at a tree for a few minutes.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Fascism?

I just heard about a news story last night about how my state government is paying companies from outside of Arizona to do various contracts. This upsets me, because that's MY state taxes that is leaving the state, it's not staying here and helping keep people employed HERE. The reasoning for this is that they are encouraging competition by purchasing services or products for the lowest price. Walmart is my government now, right?

Normally, I would agree that competition is a good thing, I mean that is one of the most important features in a capitalist system. But governments are inherently monopolies, they force us to pay them, and they do what they want. It's not like I can just choose to have the California government perform necessary functions here, right? So, if we all have no choice but to have our own state government do things for us, then we should at least expect that our government will support us in ways that we need, like for instance providing jobs that support our own economy.

They say that if they become preferential towards Arizona companies, that would cause a backlash in other states that would make it hard for Arizona companies to do business in those other states. My thought is this, so what? No, seriously, so what? If Arizona's government contracts are available only to Arizona companies, that means more business being generated by OUR tax dollars, HERE. If other states do the same thing, cool, seems like it would be good for Their local economies, just like it would be good for ours. Prove to me there is actual reciprocation from awarding contracts to companies in other states that basically balances things out, and I'll say fine, just keep doing it like this for as long as ya want. But if you can't prove to me that just as much local business is being generated for us by other states as the amount of business being awarded to companies in other states by our state government, then I'll tell you to go eat a dirty sock... I've got a few for you if you can't find any.

Then Dad said that he thinks there is no difference between a State, or even Federal, government and any corporation. As we all know, a corporation, especially if it is publicly traded, is expected, and even legally required, to make as much money as possible while spending as little money as possible, which means that the focus of all of their activities has absolutley no moral or ethical bias one way or another. That means corporations can become corrupt, do illegal things, do really wrong things, all for the sake of the bottom line. I say, as long as a corporation can get away with it, they'll do it, and if they think they might get caught, they still might do it if they have the resources to manipulate the system that is supposed to keep them in line. For one really good example, let's look at Microsoft. Or maybe let's look at a company that has actually been taken down and put out of business for the wrong things they are doing, what was that energy company called... uhm, Enron, yes, that's it. Very good examples, one evil corporation that went down hard, the other is still around, still strong, still up to their evil plots.

And now for why I titled this "Fascism?", one of the definitions I have read or heard about what Fascism actually is says that it is a combination of Corporatism and Government. Now, we do not currently live under the most repressive and violent regime possible, there is still plenty of wiggle room, but I am very conserned about how close we may be getting to that. Are we living in a Fascist state? Let's look at our Federal Government paying private contractor companies to go fight over seas, or provide building and food services for our soldiers, etc. etc. Is all of that fascism? Our military, our government functions, everything that runs our country and our lives is all made up of Corporations?! Is that not Fascism?!

Well, let's look at what wikipedia says about Fascism. Wow, I'm just as confused as ever... my head hurts. Can someone please be clear about this? What exactly does Fascism mean?! I've watched a weird sci-fi show that takes place in South Africa called Charlie Jade, which is about parallel universes. Charlie's home universe is way frakin converted over to Fascism, in every possible way, it is government by Corporations. You are not a citizen of anything, you are an employee. Corporate competition includes armies killing each other, corporate armies, employees killing the employees of a competitor. Is this where we are heading? Are all of the governments in our country just Corporations? What about the governments of other countries? Is our current economic hardship really all planned by Fascists trying to convert every government into corporations that can be purchased, owned, and run by private groups or individuals?!

I'm freaking out here. I'm going completely bonkers. I need some pills. Oh wait, those were provided to me by Corporations! Aaaaah!! Aaaaahh!! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!

Maybe I'll just start smashing my head against things like walls, desks... cars.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

The Voynich Manuscript

I have read this article and find it fascinating! I also have a theory, and you may laugh at me about it but I really do think it makes sense. My theory to explain the existence of this manuscript depicting plants that don't exist anywhere on our world, in a language unrelated to any known language, is that it came from another parallel world. I don't mean a space faring race that brings paper books with them to other planets, or a race of people who use advanced technology like ours to travel to other worlds through portals.

I think that a race of people called the D'ni, who had a magical yet scientifically approached means of travel from parallel world to parallel world, which they call Ages, had taken this manuscript from one of the many worlds they visited a very long time ago and brought it here to study it and that world. Somehow, this manuscript wound up among us, confusing the heck out of scholars and scientists for decades.

My definition of a D'ni Age is a place in time, rather than a particular time, or erra, like what we would usually think of it. Like, the stone age, or the bronze age. A D'ni Age could be another planet in a parallel universe exactly identical to this one, or a planet actually in this universe but in a different time than what you and I consider to be the present. But since the D'ni Link, or travel, directly to a world in a parallel universe, there is no way of knowing the spacial or temporal coordinates of that world as compared to any other world traveled to.

The D'ni became isolated and xenophobic after a race of people tried to kill them a very long time ago, so this manuscript couldn't have been procured after that event. The vast majority of D'ni wanted nothing to do with us Humans, they considered us to be far too primative, war-like, and not worth knowing. The D'ni, unfortunately, were mass murdered by a mad man, and the survivors will not likely return to their home here on earth.

I think this manuscript came from one of the vast uncountable number of Ages, Leaves on the Great Tree of Probabilities, of which our world is but one. I believe there is a vast and unknowable multiverse of universes, many like our own, and many so utterly different from our own that it would boggle the mind.

I believe that imagination is not the ability to create worlds, but the ability to sense them, to glimpse a parallel world that DOES exist somewhere in the multiverse. Just think of what it would be like to travel to a world you have seen in your imagination. Maybe the world you travel to only vaguely matches your imagination, because human perception is often error prone. But wouldn't it be the most awesome adventure ever to actually travel to those worlds, and know without any doubt that they are all real, in their own separate universe?

Ok, I'm done with my insane burst of bla bla bla, yackety schmackety.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Kleftik


The game Dad and I have been working on is really coming along, we've got the rules all hashed out, a game board that looks nice, pawns and dice, chips, and a box. Here is the label for the box, and rules page, I think it's perfect. See if you can guess what this game is about. Well, ok, I'm not very good at suspense, Kleftik is based on another game called Quandary, but Dad and I have made so many changes it's barely the same thing at all. The whole thing is all about confusion, randomness, but it's also got a lot of strategy. Oh, it's really fun playing it with Dad. I hope we get this thing published by some game maker, won't that be awesome!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Heartburn, a conspiracy

Ok, this is a repost of something I posted earlier, but I'm gonna make changes, I honestly think the pharmaceutical companies want us to become totally dependent on their "treatment" regime, and by regime I mean evil power bent on ruling everyone.

Do Not Believe the Lies told by the pharmaceutical companies about heartburn, acid reflux disease, and GURD, or whatever, and the supposed cure they claim to be antacids. Do NOT take antacids, unless you want to be hooked on them. They set you up for a painful fall. Here is my explanation for my insane rant!

A while ago I decided to start taking Tums, because of the calcium, I need it since I don't drink milk as I'm allergic to it. I had never had a problem with heartburn before, and I didn't think anything was wrong with eating a couple tums in the morning. Much to my painful surprise, I began to have heartburn every evening before bed, so I would take tums. Then I had heart burn in the morning so I took tums. Then I had heartburn in the afternoon, so I... yes, took tums. The heartburn kept getting more painful, and I also started having really painful abdominal cramps and constipation. Finally I figured out my problems all started when I started taking tums. So I stopped, cold turkey, and just suffered through the constipation, cramps, and heartburn. Oh yes, it hurt, it hurt and hurt like the word hurt had lost it's meaning and gained a whole new dictionary definition. When finally it subsided and my system returned to normal, I decided to research this thing that happened. Now I Know, and I'm telling you the truth and the facts! READ!

Heartburn and acid reflux disease and GURD are all the same thing, Indigestion. Ever had a backed up toilet? Ever had a backed up sink? Stinks doesn't it? This is what is happening to you, your digestive system is not breaking things down and moving it along properly, so it's backing up, and what happens to that acid that is trying hard to get that stuff moving? It's coming up your throat and it burns and hurts. They are Lying to you when they tell you that your problem is that you are making too much acid. Nonsense! Did you know that one of the most common side effects of antacids is constipation?! You are BACKING UP YOUR SYSTEM when you take antacids. So, you take an antacid, it does NOT shut down the acid making little pump things in your stomach, it acts as a chemical off switch for the acid itself, that is called a base or basic salt. The thing that Makes the acid only knows one thing, stuff isn't getting digested very well, must make more acid. So they rev up the acid production. So what happens when the antacid can no longer counteract the acids in your stomach, AND the acid makers have been trying their hardest to speed up and increase acid production? Heartburn times 2, or more!!! So you go take some more antacid to fight back! STOP Attacking your own body! OMG, seriously.

So, you are wondering what the frak you should do about your painful heartburn to make it stop eating up your throat. Well, that's easy. HELP your digestive system digest and move stuff along. What do you think happens when a residential septic system gets backed up? I've seen it on a movie, nasty stuff comes up in the back yard, they have to dig up the yard, remove the tank or whatever, and replace it. Horrible. Now, normally a septic system has stuff in it to help break down the crap you flush so it can move along. What happens when you pour, I dunno, toxic chemicals that kill the stuff that is supposed to break stuff down? Back up like crazy. I've seen an ad on TV for stuff to flush that will Help your septic system break stuff down. THAT my friend is what you should do to keep things moving.

So, how do you help your digestive system? Well, one way is to eat something called digestive enzymes, but I've also found out that something acidic really helps get things going. A little Apple Cider Vinegar, nasty horrible stuff that burns all the way down, will absolutely cure your heart burn, and you will be heart burn free for weeks if not more after just one dose. You think I'm kidding? I'm not. This is the truth about antacids, they attack and destroy your ability to digest. Indigestion IS what causes acid to reflux, or back up. Stop attacking your body, Help your body instead. For crying out loud.

There, that ends one of my many rants against the corporate/fascist world I see around me. I could be wrong, but I refuse to admit it right now. :)

Abortion

I may have posted my thoughts on this subject somewhere, some time ago, but I don't remember where, when, or even if I did. For several hours at work tonight I was thinking about posting on this topic, so I'm going to bla bla bla, yackety schmackety...

Ok, here goes. From a religious point of view, and I am Mormon, I think abortion is not the right choice to make in most situations, although I do think there are situations where it is understandable. But I am a Libertarian, which means my Political and Legal point of view is that women should not be forced to continue a pregnancy against their will. I believe that an all out ban on abortion will cause a great deal more harm than good, and force women to seek out under-ground, illegal abortion doctors who very well might kill them in the process.

I do not believe that aborting a fetus in the early stages of development is the same thing as murdering a fully developed infant, and the only form of abortion I would absolutely ban no matter what the circumstances is late term, aka partial birth abortion, which is absolutely horrific beyond words, but I'll try to spell it out anyway. In partial birth abortion a fully formed, healthy, baby is pulled out of the womb, feet first, until the head is almost about to come out, then a pointed hollow vacuum tube is stabbed into the skull of the kicking and struggling baby, and the brain is sucked out. When the infant is dead, then the body is fully removed, and thrown away. There is no funeral, no proper burial, it is not treated like a person/human being, it is treated like so much trash. THAT is murder, THAT is infanticide, and there is absolutely no excuse whatsoever for it.

One of the major reasons I don't think all forms of abortion are basically murder is because of the personal and social reactions to natural abortion, in other words when, for some reason, a woman's body stops the pregnancy, without her or anyone else choosing to cause it to happen. This happens from time to time, it happened to women I know in my own life. It's sad, and all, but people individually, and society in general, do not treat those events the same way that the death of an infant is treated. I mean, there is no funeral, no casket, no burial, no groups of mourners weeping. In fact, usually, only a very few people are even aware that such an event even occurred. So, if people in general do not treat the natural loss of a pregnancy, sad though it is, the way they would treat the death of a child, then surely choosing to abort is not the same thing as murder. Do you follow the logic? I hope so.

As for earlier term abortions, which I am against remember, I do think there could be circumstances in which it would be the right decision, like if a child is raped, and impregnated. Should she be forced to bear the burden of carrying that child to full term, giving birth, and having to take care of it, or arrange for it to be adopted? And what if that child was raped by her father, or some other family member? If the baby is born, would it have genetic problems? What about probable social stigma for the girl and her baby? Maybe that is a situation in which abortion is the right choice. I don't like it, but... maybe. What about any woman at all who is raped? Should she be forced against her will to carry an unwanted child to term, and give birth, and bear the burden of caring for it? What about the hospital bills, and all the other costs?

Or how about crack addicted babies? Do you really think it's better to force a crack addicted pregnant woman to continue her pregnancy against her will, even though her baby has likely suffered developmental problems, either it's body, brain, or both, and will likely be born in unspeakable agony due to withdrawal? Even though the baby will likely be born premature, suffer horribly, and die within weeks of being born? Even though the baby will probably not enjoy a normal life even if it does survive those first few weeks? Why should any child be put through that if there is a way to end it before it even begins?

Some people believe that a child that dies before being baptised and "saved" will be sent to hell, or purgatory, or something. This belief sounds absolutely horrible to me, I don't care what religions preach it, it's WRONG! What kind of God would do such a horrible thing to a perfectly innocent, pure, sinless little child?! Any God that would do that is no God at all, in my book, and is instead an evil demon who should not be obeyed or worshiped by anyone for any reason. But, hey, I'm not telling you what religion to follow, or what faith to believe in, I'm just saying, if that's your idea of God, I feel freaking sorry for you.

I believe, as do all Mormons as far as I know, that any child that dies before the age of accountability is pure, sinless, and perfectly innocent, and will go to Heaven to live with a loving Heavenly Father forever and ever, with out end. No child that is aborted in the early stages will suffer in hell, period. The mother who chooses abortion might have to face some eternal consequences, but, I don't judge souls, that's God's jurisdiction. As far as I'm concerned, there usually is no good reason to abort, and so it's not the right decision, MOST of the time. But I cannot support any law that would absolutely ban all abortion, for any reason at all.

So, basically, I'm Pro Life and Pro Choice at the exact same time, without conflict, or very much anyway. There, berate me and hate me if you like, but that's how I feel and think about this whole thing. Have a great day, and stay out of trouble will ya?

.shorah b'shehmtee

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Map of Uru/Myst Fans

Hahaha, I love this idea, we can all see where everybody is. :) Ok, I'm on the map now too. Will you join in and show us all where you are?

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Give

I believe in sharing, in giving to others without requiring them to give back. People have given me so much in my life, and I am very grateful for everything I have received. I have a lot to deal with, as I'm sure you do too, and so I doubt you want to give anything at all to me. It's ok, you can if you want, I have a Donate button!








If you don't want to give anything at all, not even one dollar, fine, I won't push it. But I do have a number of issues I am having great difficulty dealing with, so I would be very happy to get any help at all. I am very glad I received an economic stimulus thingy, but the state wants half of that for taxes. :( The rest is going to have to go to bills. Which doesn't take care of much of my bills, believe me. I don't know what to do, and I'm only working 20 hours a week (officially), I'm taking home a very small paycheck. It's better than nothing, but still, absolutely not nearly enough.

I am a Gift Economist, I believe giving does more than just move money around, or redistribute resources, it brings people together and forges relationships. A gift economy can cause love and kindness to thrive and spread. But pure capitalism, in my humble opinion, fosters anger, distrust, selfishness, and can cause a lot of harm and poverty. Communism and Socialism are not the same thing as a gift economy, those are centralized systems that can quickly become horribly damaging repressive regimes.

A gift economy, or, as an economist guy I talked to calls it, a social capitalism, is not centralized, and depends largely on personal relationships, but does not necessarily require that. In any system, no matter what, there will be bad people doing bad things, and in a gift economy there will be takers who refuse to give for selfish reasons. But those people are dealt with, not with prison and other severe punishments, but with social separation, they generally will not have friends, will quickly lose friends, and therefore will quickly run out of resources. Theft, the taking of things that have NOT been given freely can still be punished more harshly, like with prison, but in a gift economy it seems to me theft would be very unlikely. There are people who will freely give to perfect strangers, just because giving feels good. There doesn't seem to be much reason at all for muggings or carjackings, in such a system.

I admit that a gift economy wouldn't scale up very well, too many people, too many strangers, not enough relationships forming in order to make the system work really well, but fortunately there is no need for any kind of violent revolution in order to get a gift economy up and running. All you need is liberty. The freedom to choose to give to someone, and the freedom not to give to someone, for whatever reasons you might have. As long as liberty lives and thrives, capitalism's damaging effects can be mitigated by giving. As long as people are giving, even if it's just a small thing that doesn't really matter to them, love and peace can thrive.

I believe in love, and I want peace for everyone.

.shorah b'shehmtee

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Piracy is good

I say Piracy is a good thing, and you know why? Ok, here is just one tiny example. I purchased music files on my phone, they downloaded, I was happy. My phone recently crashed, fried, then the next one, and the next one after that. I am now on my fourth phone in as many days. So I redownload the stuff I had downloaded, like apps and such. I put in my external card, which had my music on it, I try to play it, and the phone says it is trying to acquire the license for the song, then crashes. Here I am paniced that my phone has been fried yet again by a freakin song file! It does boot up again, but I get rid of the freakin .WMA music files that are protected against Piracy by Digital Rights Management, and load up the Pirated copies of those same songs that are all .MP3 files, not protected by DRM crap. Thanks Pirates! :) Now my phone doesn't crash when playing my music. Music I paid for, music I don't want to pay for again just to have on my phone again.

This is only one little example of why I am a pirate and will never not be a pirate. I will purchase music that I like, but I won't be using DRM crap ever again. The next time I purchase DRM protected songs, I'll pirate the unprotected versions and delete the DRM crap. Unless I figure out how to convert DRM protected songs to MP3, Ogg/Vorbis, FLAC, or something really weird like Monkey's Audio.

I am the kind of pirate that believes in sharing, as in giving without forcing people to give back, and if it weren't for good pirates like me, who actually buy stuff and share stuff with others, there would be no piracy. The bad pirates, I call bootlegers, sell illegal copies of stuff, which is something I would never do. But everybody lumps us together as being the same thing. Grabing a pirate copy of something I've already purchased isn't illegal, nor is sharing something I've purchased. But I don't think pirating is immoral or unethical at all, unless it's the bootleg form of piracy. Or worse, taking someone else's work, claiming it as your own, and making a huge proffit off it. Guess who does that? Microsoft! Believe it, or not, those guys are way worse pirates than I'll ever be.

Kleftik

Dad and I have been combining ideas to create a great game, we are calling it Kleftik. I hope Dad figures out how to get a game maker to look at it. If they decide to publish it, woohoo, I hope people love playing it. We sure do. Wish us luck. :)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My Bag Design


It's been Approved, woot! :) You can go take a look at it and vote now. But, whatever. You can buy it now too. I plan on buying a bag soon, yah! :)

Pandemic

I keep hearing people saying that the swine flu is not a Pandemic, bla bla bla. I've looked up the definition in the dictionary. Everything in that definition is happening right now, not may happen, not could happen, is happening right the heck now! Why doesn't anyone look it up? Should I post the definition?

Pandemic is based on the Greek words Pan, meaning all, Demos, meaning People, and is defined as an epidemic of disease that spreads easily among people, is infectious (as in not cancer), and has spread to a large area like a continent, or the world. The facts are that this has spread to multiple countries, cannot be contained to any one area, is very infectious, and is killing people. Does this have to kill 2 billion people before someone finally say it's a Pandemic? I say, no, frak that. The word Pandemic has been defined, and all the things that have happened so far matches that definition. Therefore, this is a Pandemic.

Does that mean people should panic and run around like chickens with their heads cut off? Maybe. But maybe not. Maybe we will kick this thing in the head enough times to save a lot of lives and stop it from spreading any further. Maybe not. My upset is not whether this thing is coming to kill me, oh no no no, I'm obsessed and insane over the meaning of words and people not redefining them on the fly to suit the needs of the moment. Those needs being to stop scaring people crapless, I guess.

What? I'm insane? Yes! So what?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Fox News Channel

I really can't watch fox news channel without getting very mad at them. Fair and balanced they are not. I love the Daily Show. Seems much more honest. I am not saying that any other media outlet is actually fair and balanced all the time, I'm just saying that if you make a claim, you better live up to it. FNC constantly claims they are fair and balanced. Sure, when they are reporting the weather and not blaming it on liberals. They constantly claim "we report, you decide", which is not true, they say stuff, slant it how they like, omit things they don't like, and leave it up to us to decide... decide what? That they are liars, that's what.

I think the news papers, radio and tv media are not News outlets, not really. I think news died a long time ago, due to boredom. I think it is an Infotainment industry, a business that sells information that is entertaining, sensational, grab you by the gut and hold on tight till you puke. The only real news is burried inside kernels of trickery and emotional candy, you have to filter and sift through the crap to get to the truth. The thing is, most people don't want to sift or filter, they want to get the entertainment, they want to consume. You heard me, the people of this great nation are not really citizens of anything, we are consumers. That's all we are, just tools for the vast corporate machines, we provide them what they want, they provide us what they think we want, and if we disagree and don't snap, why, like fish in a barrel, they blast something at us that makes us give them what they want anyway. Why should they care about things like Liberty and Justice, and Equality? We are nothing more than a herd, to be fattened, then slaughtered. But, hey, I'm just a nut.

So now you think I'm a liberal, right? Wrong! I'm not a liberal, left wing, nut, nor am I a conservative, right wing, nut. I'm just a nut, plain and simple! :) Seriously, I am so sick and tired of each side constantly attacking and demonizing the other side, while burying the truth about what is really going on, and who is really doing what. The government makes decisions behind closed doors so that we have no idea who is voting on what. The president, though very popular, is, IMHO, an idiot. But I thought the same about the previous president too, so don't get all huffy over it.

I'm not a conspiracy nut, like I said, I'm just a plain nut, maybe a bit salty, so I don't buy these conspiracies about the evil government. Sure, the government is full of corruption, but I believe it is much more full of stupidity and idiocy than anything else, and stupid people are much more likely to become corrupt. There, I said it, I think the government is run by morons who happen to be corrupt out of nothing more than stupidity and greed.

Greed, that's what is doing all the nasty horrible things to our economy, and the rest of the world, greed! Too many greedy buggers doing whatever they want, and nobody doing anything to stop them. A nation of laws?! Ha, I beg to differ. I think we are a nation of lunatics! Take that to the bank and shove it.

ARF!

No, I'm not a dog, I'm just crazy.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Shopping Bag



I just created a shopping bag design, it is not yet available for public viewing and voting, but I put my obsession on it, with a little bit of mother earth stuff. Here is the pic. Epic silliness on my part, I know, but I'm too obsessed with Number Systems Conversion, and such. I must have this bag to tote around with me!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Ubuntu Countdown

I have no idea how to install this applet into my website, or my blog, so, I'm just going to paste the text here till I figure out how.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Yay, Cansema is Back!

Yay, I'm so happy that the people who make Cansema have managed to get back online, despite the evil, vile, horrible FDA attacks against them, woot! http://www.altcancer.com/ashwin/ashw0908.htm

Yes there is a cure for cancer, at least one, and very likely many more, though I haven't really researched them. As far as I'm concerned the FDA is complicit in a kind of corporate stranglehold on the people of the USA, and they do NOT have the public's interest in mind at all. They allow big pharma to do whatever they want, and attack anyone with real cures for diseases. There is no financial interest in the medical mainstream for cures for anything, there is instead huge interest in repeated and expensive treatments. They would rather turn cancer, or aids, or other life threatening diseases into "Manageable Diseases", so that we must depend on big pharma and the church of medicine to manage our diseases for us.

I am not saying that hospitals, doctors, and medicine makers are all bad, or that we shouldn't use them at all anymore, they save lives, they are a necessary part of our society. But there are bad apples, there is a lot of greed, and more than enough abuse to turn my stomach. These things should be seen in the light of truth. We need to clean up this situation, and do what's right.

Ok, I'm done with my rant.

Monday, April 13, 2009

MS?! Sure hope not.

I was just watching House tonight, and someone said that Scandinavians are more likely to get MS, well that would include my whole family, frak! Ok, so I went and looked it up on Wikipedia, and read the list of symptoms, and such. Apparently I have nearly every symptom on the list, and have for many years. For instance, extreme random pain for no apparent reason, like I'm just sitting in a chair watching House, and suddenly my right pinky finger's top joint flares up in horrible pain, that takes my breath away. Then, a few minutes later, it's gone, and I'm fine. Parts of my face start twitching and won't stop, like my right eye, it's been twitching practically non stop for over a year now. Oh yes, there is that horrible migraine that lasted a whole month, non stop, after a head injury, which kept me from getting any sleep at all. I mean I'd nod off for a minute, and wake up again, no actual sleep. Which drove me nuts, till a neurologist at the hospital finally gave me really expensive meds that let me get the sleep I needed, and made the pain go away. I was in heaven! By expensive meds I mean pills that cost $90 per pill, and they came in a pack of like 20. I have had balance problems for several years too. And sometimes my speech gets slured, no idea why, it just gets real hard to form the words properly, which only started happening maybe 10 years ago. Oh yes, random muscle contractions all over my body, not just the twitching in my face, like my right eye that won't stop bothering me.

Some people have told me I'm a hypochondriac, well, I'm not. I have never lied about any of my symptoms, aches, pains, and such. Just a few weeks ago I suddenly fell backwards into my chest of drawers, no reason, I was just walking into my room, and suddenly it was like the floor moved out from under me, which it didn't of course. What happened is I utterly lost my balance for no apparent reason.

I have asthma, so I know my immune system is over reacting to things, so why wouldn't it start screwing with other things in my body? Why would it be so very impossible for it to attack my nervous system? I think this could be symptoms of MS, but I don't know for sure. When I'm typing on the computer, and one of my hands suddenly starts shaking uncontrollably, or when I'm sleeping and one of my arms starts flapping around waking me up, it's irritating. But it's not scary, or horribly painful. It's not like it keeps me from working or having fun. It's just annoying. But what if it might become something really bad? Meh, whatever.

I just hope I don't go blind some day, that would totally suck for me, since nearly everything I love involves SEEING, like blogging, reading sci-fi, watching Doctor Who. I just can't appreciate all that stuff if I can't see it. Maybe I could if I was born blind, and just learned how to use other senses and stuff. But I wasn't. It would be a big loss for me.

And I've had constipation and diahrea issues my whole life, which means nothing really, unless it's caused by MS, then it means something. So I'm irregular, so what, I can take fiber or something and I'm fine. Right? Man, being human is just plain nasty. Yuck. Who in their right mind would choose to be a human. We are way more disgusting than, like, trees. I want to be a tree. Big and tall, swaying in the breeze, soaking up sun, yah!

I doubt I have MS, but if I do, it's not bothering me a whole lot, yet. Naw, I worry a lot more about my bad knees and back, those hurt a lot, and don't seem to get better with time at all.

I need to lose this excess energy storage and build up my motion motivators. That means getting rid of fat and making more muscle. :) Hey, at least I know I've got issues, awareness is the first step to solving them.

Happy Easter! :)

Happy Easter! :) Hey, even if you don't celebrate Easter, either the Christian thing or the cadbury bunny thing, you can at least appreciate the weather. Or, if you have terrible weather where you are, dream about the weather where I live, in the Valley of the Sun, Mesa, Arizona, hahaha. Oh it's so nice, but when summer comes around it will be murderously hot again. Hooo boy. Anyone who doesn't believe in air conditioning, do not, I repeat, do NOT come here during the summer, you will freakin die of heat stroke.

I do think the dry heat helps with evap cooling, but then the monsoon brings in lots of humidity, so that's gonna fail, always does.

I used to live in Florida. Nice place to visit, but living there sometimes became, well, damp and sticky, for looooong periods of time. I longed for the feeling of actually being dry. Of getting into an actually dry bed at night. I can't believe anyone would even consider using evap cooling there, but, they did. Or at least, my parents did. Blows my mind even now.

Ok, enough! Happy whatever, have a great something, and be joy infected! :)

Sunday, April 12, 2009

My own web server

Well, I am now running my own web server, for various reasons. I think it will not crash. Wawi is crashing, it just doesn't like serving up files for download for some reason. This web server I'm running now for various things is Abyss Web Server, I like using it, it works just fine. So, if for some reason my winamp source server crashes, maybe you can try playing my music using the following playlist file.

http://krepta.dontexist.net:8080/ml/ml.m3u

If that isn't working, then either the computer crashed, or someone logged me off and shut down everything I was running, or something similar. I can't run a dedicated 24/7 machine or server software, but I'll try to keep it running as much as possible. Ok, have fun.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Winds of Change

The winds of change are blowing ever harder, I hope I can catch it and ride it to better times and places.  Soon I will no longer be employed as a security officer with Thomas Protective Services, and perhaps that is a very good thing.  Instead, I will be employed by a different security company, and hopefully in a desk job capacity, rather than a security officer capacity.  The pain, or life threatening aspects, of this job have become too much for me, if they hadn't been already.

On another note, I've tried once again to get my internet radio station up and running.  It might crash, or something, I dunno.  If you want to try it out, I would be happy to provide my musical collection for your listening pleasure.  The idea I had a long time ago was to create a radio station that anyone can control, you can search for something you like, and add it to the queue (I still don't understand why there are two "ue" things in that word), plus you can control what the source server is doing as if it is your own media player.  I call it Full Range Motion, mostly because of all the options and wide range of musical selection available.  Well, here are the links, hope the servers don't crash, hope you enjoy, have fun.

Winamp Control Interface http://krepta.dontexist.net:8008

Friday, March 20, 2009

Yet another math trick

You know, by now, that I'm obsessed with numbers and math and stuff. Well I just learned a new little trick from the radio tonight while I was working. Ok, write down a tic-tac-toe thingy, you should have 9 spaces, write numbers 1-9 in them, top to bottom, left to right.

123
456
789

Now pick a number, any number, to start from, then move to a neighboring space, then another, etc., the number of spaces based on the number you picked, no moving diagonally or jumping around the board. So say I picked 3, I start from 3 and I choose to go to 2, then 5, then 6. That's three moves. Now cross out 3 and 9, because no one who is doing this trick can possibly end up on either 3 or 9. Now move 3 spaces, any way you like, but again no diagonal and no jumping around. Now cross out 2, 6, and 8, because no one can have landed on those. Now move one space, and you have landed on number 4. Tada!

It's not magic, it's logic. And logic is fun! :)

Saturday, March 14, 2009

What's new, but not hip

Well I'm on Twitter, and on Facebook, which I've been on for a while, apparently, man my memory is so full of holes. Also, I just created a tshirt on Zazzle.com, which is perfect, well not really, but it is exactly in line with my obsession with numbers. It's on http://www.zazzle.com/krepta3000* but I don't know what the asterisk is for. If you buy a shirt, or whatever, I'm gonna be really happy, but not rich. Oh, no, I'm not hip, or cool, or anything. I'm a geek, a nerd, a dork, whatever you want to call it. I'm really really smart, and stupid, at the same time, it's very frustrating. I'm not so good at art type stuff, so, whatever designs I do are going to probably be math and numbers related. meh.


make custom gifts at Zazzle

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Hate infects CC

You may not care about CyanChat, but it's been a virtual home for me since Uru died, for the second time. I care about it a lot, but I have a temper, and when people are mean to me enough, I snap. Well, I've ticked people off on CC to the point they don't want me around at all. I annoy them too much, they yell at me too much, always attacking me for the smallest things. I have no life, and I'm lonely, and I crave social interaction in the places I can get it. I guess I have to find another home. Also, I have been fired from my day job, my other little home away from home, a place where I made friends I could talk to, have a good time. My world is falling appart. Do you know the feeling? Well, it doesn't really matter anyway, it's all virtual, not real, just shadows inside masks. The whole world is shadows behind masks. Reality isn't real at all, only a facade. I will start again, shape a new reality around myself, I will be reborn from these ashes. I will find a new Obsession.