Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Total Recall Review

I am not a professional movie reviewer, I'm just some blogger, so, take whatever I say with a large grain of salt (Mmmmm!!).  I realize this movie is not exactly brand new, so this is not going to effect movie theaters much at all.  Whatever.  I never get to see movies before anybody else, I usually only see movies after they've gone to DVD or Online.

The new version of Total Recall has a lot of awesome CG, and some pretty cool zero G stuff too.  That being said, I really don't think Total Recall needed to be remade, it was fine before.  But, Hollywood seems to have run out of new ideas, so they are diving into their vaults and remaking old movies.

The one thing I have the biggest problem with in this movie is The Fall, a huge elevator system that uses a tunnel that goes straight through the planet Earth from Australia, called The Colony, to England, called the United Federation of Britain.  *rolls eyes* So, for now I'm ignoring the ridiculous Federation and Colony thing, and just focusing on this huge elevator.

If you think traveling to the deepest part of the ocean is tough, because of the Pressure of all that water squeezing you, just think how tough it is to put a tunnel straight through the EARTH's CORE, which has above 3 Million Atmospheres of pressure!  You have the weight of The Entire Planet squeezing the walls of that tunnel.  Do you really think we'd have the ability to build something that can handle that?  I don't.  Oh, and there is also the atmospheric pressure at the core, the mid-point of the tunnel, that would be crush depth too.

Now I'm going to talk about how much the climate might be affected.  First of all, the Heat at the core is incredible, it is very likely that air being superheated at the core would want to go up, as in toward either end of the tunnel, at very high speeds, sucking cooler air from either end to the core, causing air to spin.  The Earth's Core Temperature is 1000 Degrees hotter than previously measured, comparable to the Surface Of The Sun! So you'd be plunging an elevator down a huge, incredibly hot, tornado tube!  The tornados at either end of the tunnel would never stop unless you cap the tunnel, which they don't, at all, in this movie.

Ok, that's all I wanted to say about The Fall, it's stupid.  Now I want to talk about how they have a huge factory with Humans manufacturing Robotic Police.  Seriously?!  Why employ humans at all?  Why not have robots building robots?!  Stupid.  Oh, and the obsession with strobe lights and lense flare the director has is extremely annoying!  If you suffer from Photosensitive Epilepsy, do NOT watch this movie!

Oh, and since this movie is about Australians and Britons, how come they all have American accents?!  Stupid!  Well, maybe not all, but most.